(Wendy Huang 姊妹)

A Touch from God

Wendy Huang（3/28/2016）

Before I was healed by God, I suffered years of serious insomnia and depression.

Growing up, my family situation was very rough. Till today, I can still remember vividly how my mother was constantly worried about the future, working multiple part-time jobs along with her full-time job, and at the same time managing to survive the diffucute relationship from the people in my father's side of family. I developed a very complicated feeling towards my father and myself, when I was around sixteen, an age old enough to tell things. I disliked my father somehow and I had low self-esteem. I've always felt inferior since then, a feeling which worsened over the years and later on brought so much pain in my life. In my last two years of college, I started losing sleep over negative feelings. I would lie in bed for hours and begin to drift into dreams when I heard morning birds chirping. In the days I did fall asleep before morning, I would wake up three to four times a night and subsisted on less than five hours a day. For years, I felt so negative about myself and my life that I wished I was never have.

I held a grudge against God for making life this way. When I started losing sleep, I got injuries easily as well. I got tendinitis on my shoulders and all over my arms/hands from practicing piano so much and just not being able to fully relax during sleep. I started having health problems and was put on various medications. I had one of those medication management boxes that can be found on the kitchen counter of any eighty-year old. Inside of it is full of pain killers, mood stabilizers, sleep medicine, anti-depression medicine, and those fancy, expensive Chinese herbal medicines nicely organized by dates. None of them helped me. I was sleeping less and less, only with my prescription getting heavier and heavier. I was constantly tired and sad. I stopped going to school, stopped talking to people, and eventually I stopped eating, stopped moving, and I ended up confining myself in my own room for a two months, refusing to see anyone and go anywhere. I only went out of my room when I needed to eat and use the bathroom. That was how bad it got. All I thought during those two months was that I am not myself anymore. I felt like dying.

I went to a Christian conference the summer of 2015. The speaker of the conference, 赵晓英, wanted to raise our awareness on demon possession. She had nice presentation on this topic, stressing that demon possession is not as mystic as the mainstream Christian perceive. She further argued that it can be common among Christians, even though many don't admit it. I was thrilled to hear that. Because I was so desperate to get healed of insomnia, I will entertain any suggestions, any ideas, as outlandish as it can sound, hoping to be able to sleep again! The night after the conference, I was sleeping on the first floor in Amy and Jerry's condo, trying to sleep( I lived in Champaign back then, so I stayed at their house along with other guests they hosted). I started to command the demon to leave me using the Name of Jesus. After about two seconds of doing so, I felt something swirling in my stomach. I immediately increased my ferventness, authoritatively asking the demon to leave, and the next thing I knew, I started screaming on the top of my lung uncontrollably. It was 2:00am, I still remember. I experienced a very strange sensation; it's very similar to something swirling crazily all over your stomach trying to get out. I started coughing and eventually vomiting, wondering what in the world has happened to me and at the same time very excited.

A New Start

I didn't have instantaneous healing that night, but I knew something is different in the spiritual realm from that night on. I had a supernatural experience and no one can convince me that the healing of Jesus is not real. It was as if I was touched by Jesus's own hand.

Insomnia took away my health, my happiness, my good grades/ piano skills, and my social life. I can't count to you how many missed opportunities I had in the past five years because of it. But God never forsook me in the valley of the shadow of death. In the past two years, He still allowed me to successfully complete two solo recitals to graduate, get accepted to the Master’s program at Uof I, and win a major piano competition that gave me four thousand dollars. If I were to write out how God miraculously provide me with financial blessing and helped me finish school in my neediest time, it would take another story.

After that supernatural experience in the summer, things started to get better. My insomnia was truly, completely healed when I moved to Palatine towards the end of the summer, for a piano instructor position at Harper College. I knew it was God’s work that I was able to get this job and move back to Palatine. First of all, every single higher education institution in the US requires a minimum of master’s degree for faculty employment. Nowadays, especially in music and art fields, even a doctorate degree doesn’t guarantee a job placement, because there are so many with a terminal degree and yet so little job openings. For some reason, it’s exactly in last year, when I applied to Harper College, they changed their policies and decided that the minimum requirement for faculty employment for my department can be Bachelor’s. Landing in a public college job gave me a peace of mind that one day I would become a full-time, tenured faculty, if I keep pursuing my professional endeavors. My irrational fears about the future that has kept me awake for so many nights began to dissolve. Secondly, I have always dreamed of returning to Chinese WORD ministry (CWM) when I was in college. United States is such a big country; I would have never guessed that I ended up getting a perfect job in an area where I was from- so effortlessly. I believe its God’s plan to heal me physically and spiritually. Very strangely, after I returned to Palatine and the CWM, I all of a sudden started sleeping like a normal person. And because of that, I am not depressed anymore. God puts me here in the suburbs to restore my life. I remember one day in August of last year, when I woke up in the morning after eight hours of good sleep, I felt an immense happiness in my heart- overwhelming happiness, for no reason. Ever since that day, I have never taken any medication to sleep, and I feel so happy, motivated, and content every day! Glory to God! It’s the best thing that has happened in my life.

Forgiveness

I was in HUB conference a couple weeks ago. The first evening I was prayed over by a pastor at the conference, he started prophesying over me, which I didn't expect. The words of encouragements pound deep in my heart, and at that moment, I realized God is indeed speaking to me because there is no way that he would know some of the stuff he said to me. He started addressing to the bitterness I have towards my father. He said I need to forgive him and I need to seek God. I was so touched by the prophecy that I busted out weeping. I felt that God has never left my life. He has always been on the same boat with me. He knows. With this assurance, I know I am not alone after all, and I decided that I will let go the grudges. The second night, I received a prophecy that my heart is filled with a piece of green, which they said is healing. Indeed, my attitude has changed. God has been teaching me how to be content and showing me how everything works for the good to those who love Him. I feel like I am made whole again. Now, I am just happy and grateful every day that I have learn how to look past the circumstances and forgive people (including myself). He is with us, all the time! He has the best for those who love him! I deeply believe this!!

Praise the Lord. He is leading me a new life. Beside a full time job I enjoy, I am servicing the Chinese Word Ministries, supporting Youth Group, directing Choir team, and joining wordship. I am living happily in the spirit of God’s glory.